Online grooming: threats and defenses

Table of contents

• What is grooming: definition and legal context
• How online grooming develops
• Psychological manipulation techniques
• Grooming and social grooming: differences and overlaps
• Social networks and grooming: places of risk
• The role of the postal police and prevention
• Warning signs for parents and teachers
• Grooming and platform responsibility
• Psychological and legal consequences

Our reality is dominated by new technologies. Digital communication has revolutionized personal relationships, offering in most cases enormous possibilities but also new threats. One of these is grooming, an insidious practice that can especially affect minors and is developed through social networks, messaging apps and other digital networks or means.

This article analyzes in depth what grooming is, how it manifests itself, what techniques it uses and what we can do to combat it, especially in the family, school and judicial spheres.

What is grooming: definition and legal context

The term grooming derives from the verb to groom , which originally means “to care for”, “to prepare”, but which in the IT and criminal context takes on a much darker meaning: it refers to any act aimed at gaining the trust of a minor in order to sexually abuse them , often through online contact.

In Italy, online grooming is criminally relevant thanks to law 172/2012, which implements the 2007 Lanzarote Convention.

Article 609-undecies of the Penal Code provides for the punishability of anyone who, through telematic communications, maintains contact with a minor for the purpose of performing sexual acts, producing or receiving child pornography material, or in any case of a sexual nature. The crime is configured independently of whether the physical encounter actually occurs.

How online grooming develops

In online grooming , the first step of the seducer is often the creation of a fake social profile , in which he pretends to be of a similar age to that of the victim. From here begins a gradual process of approach, which can last weeks or months, and is based on sophisticated psychological manipulation techniques.

The typical path is divided into different phases:

• Initial contact
  The scammer intercepts the potential victim on social networks such as Instagram, TikTok, Discord or Snapchat. The first message may seem harmless: a compliment, a joke or a friend request.
• Trust building
  Through tricks, flattery or threats, also carried out through other accounts or fictitious friends, the abuser tries to gain the minor’s trust. He or she may say that he or she has the same problems or interests, or pretend to be a peer in difficulty.
• Isolation
  Once a relationship of trust has been established, the stalker can be very persuasive, pushing the victim not to speak to the parents or to delete conversations, making them feel understood only by him.
• Sexual requests
  When the minor is psychologically involved, the phase of requesting sexual content, photos or videos, or the organization of a physical meeting begins. In many cases, these materials are then used to blackmail the victim, in what is an overlap with the phenomenon of sextortion.

Psychological manipulation techniques

One of the most disturbing aspects of online grooming is the ability of the groomers to use sophisticated psychological manipulation techniques. The victim, often under the age of 16, can be led to believe that it is a romantic relationship. This process can be facilitated by fragile family dynamics, social isolation, emotional disorders or low self-esteem.

Lures often:

• they show apparent empathy and listening;
• they promise love, gifts or adventures;
• they lie about their age and identity;
• they send personal pictures to gain trust;
• They blame the victim if he or she expresses doubts or wants to cut off contact.

The result is that the victim does not feel manipulated , but loved, appreciated and understood. And this is precisely the destructive force of grooming: it is not perceived as abuse , at least until it is too late.

Grooming and social grooming: differences and overlaps

In literature, the term social grooming indicates an animal or human behavior related to the construction of social bonds, which can also be positive. However, in the IT field, grooming and social grooming are sometimes used as synonyms to describe forms of online grooming. In the latter case, the adjective “social” emphasizes the use of digital platforms as a means to manipulate and attract the victim.

Online grooming therefore stands out as a deviant and dangerous form of digital sociality, which exploits the normality of virtual interaction to introduce unacceptable content and requests.

Social networks and grooming: places of risk

Among the channels preferred by the groomers are social networks and platforms used daily by teenagers. Some of the platforms most vulnerable to these attacks are:

• Instagram (via Direct and Stories)
• TikTok (via comments and messages)
• Snapchat (thanks to the temporary nature of the content)
• Discord (Game Environment, Voice and Chat)
• WhatsApp and Telegram
• Chat in online video games

Live streaming platforms and dating sites can also be used by minors or by individuals who pretend to be minors, making it difficult for parents to monitor them. The postal police frequently report cases in which predators use multiple profiles or other networks or means to continue communicating even after an initial block.

The role of the postal police and prevention

In Italy, the postal police is the body responsible for monitoring and combating phenomena such as online grooming, also thanks to specialized units that operate undercover. However, repressive intervention is not enough: prevention is crucial and must involve schools, families, social workers and digital platforms.

It is essential to teach minors to:

• don’t share personal information with strangers online;
• don’t blindly trust anyone who claims to be your age;
• always talk to a trusted adult if they receive strange or embarrassing messages;
• for your accounts correctly.

Warning signs for parents and teachers

Recognizing the signs of possible grooming is difficult but not impossible. Here are some behaviors that can be warning signs:

• compulsive use of the telephone or computer;
• sudden isolation from friends and family;
• nervousness or anxiety when receiving messages;
• frequent deletion of browsing history;
• receiving suspicious gifts or top-ups;
• changes in mood or school performance.

Parents should maintain an open dialogue with their children, know their social accounts and, when possible, supervise their digital activity, without invading their privacy, but to protect them from real dangers.

Grooming and platform responsibility

Social media platforms have an ethical and legal responsibility to combat online grooming. Many services have introduced automated moderation systems, keyword filters, blocks for adults who try to contact underage users, and channels for immediate reporting of suspicious behavior.

However, these measures may be insufficient if predators use suggestive or coded language or move to other, less controlled platforms.

Psychological and legal consequences

The damage caused by grooming can be devastating. On a psychological level, the victim can develop post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression, guilt and social isolation. On a legal level, the groomer can be prosecuted for:

• solicitation of a minor (art. 609-undecies of the criminal code);
• sexual acts with a minor (art. 609-quater cp);
• production, possession or distribution of child pornography material (art. 600-ter cp);
• in some cases, even for sexual violence or stalking.

To conclude

Online grooming is one of the most subtle and dangerous forms of online grooming, capable of targeting minors through any social profile and digital platform.

Knowing what grooming is, how it works, and what defense strategies we can activate is the first step to combating it. Collaboration between families, schools, law enforcement, and digital providers is essential to creating a safer environment for our children.

Questions and answers

1. What is grooming?
   Grooming is the practice of luring minors online for the purpose of sexual abuse or the production of child pornography.
2. What is the most risky age for grooming?
   Usually minors under 16 are the most exposed, although it can affect adolescents up to 18 years old.
3. How does online grooming start?
   Through an initial contact on social networks or chat, often with a fake profile , the seducer builds a relationship of trust.
4. What are the most used platforms for grooming?
   Instagram, TikTok, Discord, Snapchat, WhatsApp, but also video game chats and forums.
5. What to do if you suspect a case of grooming?
   Postal police or a trusted adult immediately and collect digital evidence without deleting anything.
6. Is it a crime even if there was no physical encounter?
   Yes, online solicitation alone is criminally relevant under Italian law.
7. What can a parent do to prevent grooming?
   Educate your children about the responsible use of the web, monitor social profiles and maintain an open dialogue.
8. How is grooming criminally punishable?
   With prison sentences provided for by the penal code, especially if related to other crimes such as sexual violence or child pornography.
9. What signs might indicate that a minor is a victim?
   Isolation, nervousness, excessive phone use, mood swings and school changes.
10. Does grooming only happen online?
    Mainly online, but may also be associated with other contacts mediated by other networks or means.